i had a childhood friend that was diagnosed with ovarian cancer about a year ago. she got treatment. then around the same time andy was diagnosed, she was diagnosed with a reoccurance with brain cancer. i didnt go and see her because i was so consumed with andys diagnosis and the whirlwind of dr visits that followed. i basically forgot about HER during his treatments. she was admitted to MD Anderson during this time. i requested to see her at this time, but was told that she wasnt seeing ANYONE. I kinda understood this, since andy didnt want to see anyone due to his condition. andy eventually got better, she didnt. she was sent home 2 days ago to die. i feel so terribly guilty at this point, since i did not go and see her. i am inconsolible, split between andys recovery and her demise.
she is only 38 years old. how can this BEAST take her???? how can this be such a rejoycing time in my life for andy and be such sorrow in my life for my friend??? i am so split that it is driving me insane.
my hubby deserves all my happiness, but my friend is causing sorrow.
i am at a loss...

Hang in there Teresa...what a terrible thing! As a caregiver you know how much time and energy it takes for one and with the whirlwind you've gone thru you can't beat yourself up over this. I hope she had the same kind of outstanding caregiver you have been and that's all you can really hope for. I recently found out that two of my high school chums are fighting cancer as well. I hate this damned disease and understand your total frustration but you just can't be everywhere at once. Love and prayers for you and for her.(((hugs)))

Teresa, Hang in there! What a horrible thing to have to go through as a caregiver and as a friend. This cancer is a beast. I will be praying for you and your friend's family. I know how unfair it is. You will get through this. (((((hugs))))to you.

Oh Teresa. I'm so sorry What a difficult situation. Try to not be so hard on yourself. You are a good friend. You were thinking of her and praying for her and she has lots of family around to comfort her. She knows she was in your thoughts if not there physically.Try and remember the happy memories of her and your good times together when she was in good health.

When this is all over maybe you can do something for cancer in her memory.

Don't Feel Guilty!!!!!!! You did your very best. You are buring the candle at both ends eight now. Caregiving is the hardest job in the world.

thank u all. i know, in my heart, that i was where i needed to be--with my hubby--because he is numero uno--it just kills me that my friend was going thru this at the same time.
what kills me is that her family was not with her during this difficult time. and shame on them.
i am so mixed in my feelings of joy for andy and anger for her. thank u so much for the cyber hugs===they really meant alot. and thank you for the responses of support...they go a looooooong way! cheryl, kate and angelia......thank you!

cheryl,
i wish your chums the best

angelia,
u r still going thru sooo much in recovery. thank you for offering support when support is what u need. ur the best!

Teresa, I was given a lot of support during this time. I just want to make sure I can be supportive of others. How is Andy doing? Has he completed his treatment?

i am just having such a hard time with this specific case. knowing her personally makes it soo hard, especially since ive known her for 25 years. im 40, she is 38, but she just seems like a BABY.
my great grandma died of cancer.
my grandparents died of cancer.
my mother is a breast cancer survivor.
andys parents died of cancer-lung and brain cancer.
but they were older. when u label the cancer on someone my age---it gets more real. andy had a VERY difficult time....but is recovering remarkably well. and he had a VERY rare cancer.
i guess i keep disecting this to try to make sense...and it just doesnt. i guess i just need to make peace with it.
im just having a really hard time with this.
i guess KNOWING cancer, makes it harder.

Teresa,

10 years ago Dec 31st, my best friend growing up and Senior Prom date, Nikki, died of luekemia, she was only 24. I was able to visit her 7 months previously after her bone marrow transplant and was told she was in remission. I was never called and told she was sick again nor that her time was short. I was called New Years day 2000 by her twin sister and given the news and asked to be a pall bearer.

I love her family as if they are my own, but I still hold feelings there, towards them and myself. I now live in our hometown again and visit her gravesite often. The pain of the loss is still there and will always be, however through her battle, she gave me the courage to face my own situation.

I'm sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.

Eric