Thanks Pat, your advise is very helpful. I think Steve will have to hit rock bottom before he realises as well. But he's a big boy and as much as I want to, I can't force him to do things. Nice to know others out there had the same issues as well.

Wife to Steve 43. DX 5 May 09. T4N2MO SCC tongue, floor of mouth, lymph nodes & jaw bone
No surgery
Teeth removed 06/07/2009
radiation 13/07/2009 x 7wks
chemo 15/07/2009 x 3 Cisplatin
last TX 28/08/2009
25/11/2009 PET-lymph node activity.
08/01/2010 CT Scan-ALL CLEAR
03/03/2010-Peg removed
01/2013 left side of Jaw removed and replaced with pectoral flap.
23/12/2020 scan show lesion in tongue
01/2021 SCC stage 3 base of tongue diagnosed
01/03/2021 chemotherapy started.