Hi Nancy,
Sunday tends to be a little slow for answers but I will try to guide you to places where you might find answers to some of your questions.
A number of posters will ask you where Steve is being seen/treated as we are big advocates of Comprehensive Cancer Centers...a list which is available here on the Oral Cancer Foundation Main website. You will help us all if you will give us a timeline in your signature (go to My Stuff/Profile/Signature and just type in the major points...see the signature at the bottom of my post)
If in fact Steve's situation is too far along for most types of treatment there are a number of blogs that you can read that will give you insight into the final weeks of OC patients. Remember, though, that everyone's cancer and situation is different. You can read these on the Forum topic "OCF Cancer Blogs." Posters such as Cookie (Walking towards the light), JAM (A caretakers journal), suemarie, and wallyswife, will give you a snapshot of their experiences.
You have found a great site for support and information. Keep posting and we will all help you through this.
Take time to read not only the forums but the main site pages as well....tons of information that might be helpful.
Hugs,
Deb