Jim,
I feel for you as I met many unanswered questions before I finally settled on Moffitt's recommendations. See what Moffitt says. Write down all your questions so you will have them in front of you before you go. Let me know who you are going to see at Moffitt.
I have seen a lot of recent people (both male and female) coming to this site who fit your profile, i.e., really young, non tobacco users,
HPV-, with the primary some other place than the Oropharynx Region (BOT or Tonsils) and I have also observed that their cancer is just as aggressive as non
HPV+ SCC seems to be as compared to
HPV+ SCC meaning to me that you really need to consider radiation and chemo now as opposed to "saving" it. One thing I think you need to realize is that with a confirmed positive node that you are not a Stage I.
Hope you get the answers you are seeking and if I can be of any help at Moffitt just let me know.