Misskate, I can relate to the incidences you have had with the inconsiderations of others. I have not had a glossectomy, partial or otherwise, but I have had the removal of 25 lymph nodes, teeth removal of 24, wooden neck from the surgery, and at this point in time, one year and 2 months from discovery and start of treatments. Radiation and chemo were unkind but not som much as I have read of others. For this I am grateful, but what I wanted to say is, before I started this detour in my life, I was very active with the deaf in my church and with lots of deaf friends because of it.
When someone has a problem with my speech, which is difficult at times, I automatically revert to sign language. At times I am pleasently surprised with finding the person asking for me to repeat what I said, just happens to understand sign language. From that point on it is no problem to either of us.
Learning sign language is relatively easy for most people to do. To make it more interesting, you can converse with people of other languages easier through this ability. If you have a real problem with the comunication, give it a try. Find some jr. college training classes and you will find new friends who will never judge you or question your problems. Hope this helps to get the word (no pun intended) out. gnoled