Amy,

The fear of the unknown is the worst. Especially when you add panic attacks to it...they are the worst!!! I have not been through the same treatment as you but I can understand why you feel the way you do. From what I read you have made it through so much already...you can do it. I'm sure it will be hard. Look at it this way. Maybe not knowing and not having to think about it will be good. Your doctor will do what is best for you while you are out and you won't have to worry and wait for more surgery. I wish you much luck and I'm sure people will post soon with good ideas for you.

Suzanne