Bonnie, I have a partially numb tongue and I eat what I want and taste everything. This is not as potentially a big a deal as you might imagine. I did not have a tongue tumor, but extensive surgery was done inside my mouth. I look just fine and talk a mile a minute. I had the radiation and chemo also, and have completely resumed my life as it was before. Any treatment post-neck dissection can be addressed later if needed. In the meantime, please know that a partially numb tongue is very, very easy to get used to. At first it was so swollen that I was alarmed, but that disappeared rapidly.

Bottom line, don't panic. Docs generally tell you the worst case scenario, so you will be prepared, I guess. At least that happened with me, and the outcome was light years away from what it might have been.

With regard to the surgery, you can expect much swelling and drainage tubes and maybe a scary appearance for a few days. I was in the hospital for about a week, and stayed out of the public eye for a few days after that. The neck dissection is not difficult to recover from, nor is there much, if any, pain invoved. Around here, we say that one of those is sort of a cake walk compared to other treatments.

What you and your daughter are facing is very scary, but very doable. Expect the surgery to take many hours, and do not get upset about that. It does not mean things are going wrong, just that it takes a long time. You might want to get an erasable white board and marker for your daughter to use when she wakes up, because she most probably will not be able to talk for a while until the swelling goes down, or if she has a trach. That is also something not to worry about. I had one, and before I left the hospital it was removed and a bandaid placed over the hole which healed quickly. One must look very closely to see that I ever had one.

I am very glad you found this site. Whatever you and your daughter face, there will be someone, and most probably many someones, who have walked the same path. We got through it and you and she can also.

Now take a deep breath!