Cray - so sorry the rubber has hit the road so hard right now. My brother who has been ill for the past 3+ YRS for unreleated issues (colon cancer / removal) has often said that he feels the road to recovery has been harder in many ways on his caregiver than on him, himself because he has the meds and all he has to focus on is getting better, but his caregiver has to worry about everything plus trying to get the rest food and breaks they need as well ...

caregiving is HARD especially when it is a spouse or parent or child... you love them so much you want them better then you battle with the feelings you get when you are just plain tired.

#1 you need help. recruit it! friends and family willo usually come forward and help IF you open up to them and be blunt about what you need from them.

#2 you need a doctor who will listen - don't take the one twits advise - see another hon who will listen and understand - perhaps your husbands doctors would be a good resource because they know what you have been under.

#3 don't give up and dont anticipate the worse. I have heard from many on here and otherwise that recovery can take a longggggggg time - many times not feeling human again until a year and a half after last treatment... so don't give up yet.

#4 keep talking. many times just airing what we are feeling helps. sometimes we feel guilty when we feel what we feel but you have to remember it is NORMAL and you have to be able to vent feelings both good and bad so you don't lose it. We are always here to support you.

BIG HUGS I wish I could take it away and make it all better for you both.

Hang in there hon and let us know how you are doing. You will be in my prayers.