I am so angry today. I can't control my tears and emotion. I miss my husband and I am growing frustrated with "chemoMan". Sometimes Craig shines thru his extreme fatigue but it is so rare. Everyday I wake up hoping to see him as himself to be disappointed most days. We started this road 12/07 and things just wont get better. i fear that they have missed someting, that they arent telling me something, that they are holding back some horrible news. i went to a doctor to get something to help me cope but he acted like I was looking for drugs. Geezz...I have a pharmacy in my house and he wanted to treat me like an abuser. I am too busy taking care of him and trying to keep my job....I don't have time to be taking care of myself. The bills are heavy on my shoulders and I wonder if the my grown kids really grasp the pressure cooker I am living in. Probably my fault because I live on the fringe of knowledge so they dont have too. But even that is making me mad. Our friends leave me out and concentrate on his illness but not the situation I leave everyday. They call and check on him make promises and then fail to follow thru and leave me to pick up the pieces. I didnt want this to be all about me but damn it "I WANT MY HUSBAND BACI NOW"

cray