Diane,
To close the circle a little on this, I should tell you that since the night my husband first had the problem with the trach, he has had NO more problems. And, the NG tube doesn't seem to bother him at all. He smiles and even clowns a good part of the time. I'm sure it's no picnic, but perhaps it is reassuring to knowthat not everyone has all these problems.

I think that Chip's approach to this, which is to try to relax into it and not to clench - almost a zen type approach, has helped him so much. I'm trying to be more like him.

I hope your surgery is much less difficult for you than you are expecting.