My name is anne and I'm new here.

Diagnosed with tongue cancer (no one has ever said what stage)in late May/early June of 2008. Still have not had treatment. Doctors have said it will be three rounds of chemo and six weeks of radiation.

So far the worst is my PEG tube. Even after three weeks, it hurts and I still can't bend over.

I live alone with no family. The friends I have, while well-meaning, have lives of their own and can't devote the time I need to this.

I've also had to give up most of my pets as it is too hard to take care of them by myself.

So here I sit, alone, in the dark. Unable to really eat, no one to talk to.

I refuse to read much about this because it scares me more than I already am. I really don't need to hear or read the confirmation that life as I knew it is over.

I have already decided that if it gets any worse, I will just kill myself.

anne (feeling hateful, and mean, and scared, and lonely)