hi - my name is marieka and had a maxillectomy 3 weeks ago. user name is nervous and if you search "maxillectomy" on the site you will find like tons of posts with lots of info on my last couple of months. will be glad to help as i believe me can totally relate to your fears. it has been hard, but taking it day by day. the surgery itself was surprisingly not nearly as painful as i had imagined. make sure to request anti-nausia medications in your antestesia (not all will do this i am told). i woke up up able to breathe, even through my nose and able to swallow. i could even talk and be understood. the first prostetic that you wake up with will assure all of this. there will be lots of drugs to help you relax and rest. it was difficult at first to drink but you will have fluids and it won't take long to get to it. once home the meds (for me a steroid, pain killers & antibiotics) were all dispensed in liquid form. i only spent one night in the hospital and could not get out quick enough. found that being home was just as beneficial if not more. i did have help, so having your sister there to keep things in order is a good idea. you will need to rest. i basically spent the first 5 days or so couchbound and since slowly working my way back to the daily grind. in actuality, physically i am quite well, emotionally takes a little longer. it is a loss, one which will take time to get used to. i too have young children 4 & 7 and was totally upset for them. it was a little difficult for my older son, but my younger honestly didn't really get it. surprisingly (if yours is all internal, as was mine) except for some external swelling - you will not look much different. my entire family was shocked on how much they can do inside without actually changing the outside. the initial swelling resolved after the one week removal of the first prostetic. three weeks later, i look literally normal with just a tighter appearance of the top lip (which will in time end). i do not feel exactly normal yet, but know i will. my boys were not frightened of my appearance and adjusted within a day or two. drinking and eating were a challenge (eating still). august (colleen) - who has also responded to your post, was my awesome coach and made several suggestions which helped (definitely read her posts to me). have some baby spoons on hand at home and a mister bottle for water (lest you cannot take a straw at first) also, stock up on drinks (i liked the chocolate boost). with me they removed 3/4 of the maxilla (the bottom of my nasal canal and the volmer - a small bone which supports the nose). i was terrified, but can survive to say that each day will get a little better. it is a huge adjustment (still working thru it) but it does get easier. in time, i know that just like everything, i will get used to it (as will you!) i will be having a second surgery tomorrow. i definitely feel better about it than the first. unfortunately, he did not get the margin and they need to take a little more. this does NOT happen often but can, but as you know, they have to get it all. so anyway, sorry i won't be around for a bit to help you more, i hope i helped some. you will get TONS of support on these boards, lots of wonderful and caring people - stay on, it will help beforehand and afterwards. good luck, i promise, you will be ok... marieka (nervous on the boards)