Tom J, I am the most feminine tough guy you will ever meet. I was "just fine" until I went into shock from the pain of serious burns to my fair skin. I was cheerful on the telephone and wrote upbeat letters and e-mails. Being highly competitive by nature, I was determined to be the BEST patient on the face of the earth.

In hindsight, I can see how incredibly stupid this was. Or maybe not - I convinced myself it was almost a cake walk and by so doing, seemed to have gotten through some of the bad side effects easier than some.

Bottom line, I seriously recommend doing and saying whatever feels right to you. This is a very personal disease and as the patient, you call the shots. And for sure and certain, if you hurt, admit it up front!