You are so sweet Michelle that Im sure you and Dan have many friends/acquaintences who are genuinely concerned. You are right that most people dont understand oral cancer at all. They dont realize that chemo alone isnt magically going to fix somebody and that radiation will cause horrendous side effects for some.

Any friend who appears at your door with dinner I would say is a true friend. They are taking their time and effort to show your family they care. Maybe they dont understand it completely but with that gesture they are trying to help.

Ive been in the same situation at work with so many people asking me if Im ok. My answer is pretty short. I just say its a long road and Im trying. If they ask me more questions then I feel more comfortable giving more info. By them asking questions it shows they are really interested.

Sorry you miss your mom so much. Good luck with your responses.
Sorry I didnt post this sooner when you really needed the info.