Stephen,

I call that the "what if game" and know I indulge in it sometimes.

"What if the treatment doesn't work?"
"What if I can't tolerate it and have to quit?"
"What if the cancer comes back?"
"What if I can never taste food again??"

For me, its fear, plain and simple and the only way to stop it is to think logically. I have a great medical team who are busting their butts to get me well. I am doing as best as I can do to follow their instructions for my own care and, when I need to, I talk to someone about my fears. For me, that's the best trick - being honest with myself, admitting my fears and then moving on.

This cancer is not my first cancer, so I've had to process this fear before, but I can assure you, it hasn't gotten that much easier.

- Margaret


Stage IV SCC lt lateral tongue, surgery 5/19/08 (partial gloss/upper neck dissection left side/radial free flap reconstruction) IMRT w/weekly Cisplatin & Erbitux 6/30/08, PEG 1 6/12/08 - out 7/14 (in abdominal wall, not stomach), PEG 2 7/23/08 - out 11/20/08, Tx done 8/18/08
Second SCC tumor, Stage 1, rt mobile tongue, removed 10/18/2016, right neck dissection 12/9/2016
Third SCC tumor, diagnosed, 4/19/2108, rt submandibular mass, HPV-, IMRT w/ weekly Cisplatin, 5/9 - 6/25/2018, PEG 3 5/31/2018