Hi LarrysDaughter-

It was about a year ago that they told me I had 2-3 years to live (34 year old mother with a toddler). If you know this woman well, you could just be very direct and ask her how you can help. Everyone is so different; it�s hard to know what will be helpful. For example, my mom always wanted to go to the chemo sessions with me, but I just wanted to be dropped off. That way I felt independent. But lots of people want the company.

I always appreciated having someone �on call� who I could call up at anytime and unload on. I used my sister for it, I told her sometimes I would just need to talk and that she didn�t need to offer any advice, but just listen to me, and I would call her during the day while she was at work, etc. During those first few weeks there were a lot of times I was borderline hysterical and just had to get it out somehow and that really helped.

Then later I needed more rides to the chemo appointments, people to pick up/drop off my son at daycare, and suggestions of movies or books to read. One good days I would get lonely because I was home during the day and I liked to have someone to go to lunch or coffee with. Depending on the chemo, she might feel just fine for quite a while.

You probably already know this, but one thing definitely not to say is the whole �I knew someone with cancer who was told 2 years, and they lived 6�� etc etc. It seems good but it can make her feel worse. I think the best thing to say is that you�re sorry, and you�re here to help.

Best of luck
Melissa