John,
I am pretty new at this caregiver stuff but it has changed me forever. I was always very close with my mom but never realized how much until the thought of losing her came my way. At first, I cried all the time. I now think it was the intial shock of hearing she has cancer. I don't cry as much now. It doesn't mean I care less, I think it is just that I have accepted it the best I can.

At first, I called my mom non stop and I was constantly asking her how she was which I think wasn't exactly what she needed at the time. I may have made her more worried. She has handled this so much better than I have which has surprised me. She is the type of person who is very independent and would never want to be a burden on me. Not that she ever could be, but in her eyes she would feel that way. She has had to let go of some of that independence and quite honestly, this is the closest I have ever been with her. I am not saying that the cancer is a good thing by any means, but it is the first time I have ever been able to really give back the support she has shown me all my life.

So my experience as a caregiver has actually been ok. Yes I worry all the time and yes, this is a nightmare but I have been trying to live in the moment and take whatever it is infront of me and embrace it. I cant believe that it has taken something this horrible to make me realize how very lucky we are to have each other.

Also, I think that CG's want to do as much as they can. It helps them to get through this too. They may not have the physical pain, but trust me, they are in pain in other ways.
I wish you the best.
Denise