Hello Jeff,
Your story is quite similar to several here. You don't seem too stressed in your writing but I imagine you are. Any surgical options they mention will sound worse than they are so try to keep that in perspective. I will guess that they will want to remove the tonsil, any part of the tumor that has grown beyond the tonsil and at least a partial neck dissection. The neck dissection will provide the information about how far the cancer has moved into the lymph system. Do not fear this, as I (and many others) had multiple lymph nodes involved and 7 years later am OK. Staging of your cancer will come after they know more about your particular case. Radiation/chemo will also likely be suggested. Time will seem to slow down as far as moving through the system. Let the professionals do their job. If you have any doubts, get to the bigger treatment center. This is no time to be someone's "practice" patient.