My husband had a similar diagnosis and is doing great. My husband's tumor was small, less than 2 cm, and had gotten into 2 lymph nodes and was forming 3rd one. His treatment team was always optimistic that they would knock this out of him.

Are you at a comprehensive cancer center that specializes in H&N patients? Why are they telling you this will be palliative only?

Margaret
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C/G: Husband, 48 (at time of dx)
Dx 5/18/07 SCC, BOT, lymph node involvement. T1N2BM0. (Stage 4a, G2/3)
Tx 6/18 - 8/3/07, IMRT x 33 Cisplatin x3 (stopped after 1st dose due to hearing issues). Weekly Erbitux started 6/27/07 completed 8/6/07.