TALK to her! You feel rotten so imagine how she feels!!
I knew I had cancer from Jan 11th 2006, took til June to get definitive diagnosis, am just past the 6 month stage and still 'hoping for the best, preparing for the worst'
Instead of researching alternative treatments or 'sitting around', take her out for the day, get the family photo album out, just ask her 'How do you feel? What do you think's going on?' type questions--judge your responses from that.
I've wanted to know from day 1, but lots of people don't -- and that's okay! caregivers need to 'go with the flow', but can only do that if they know the level of their loved one's understanding of their disease and how they want to handle it.
Your mom is young, and sounds like she may have a fighting chance--go with what the regular docs say and suggest.
Save your energy for being with/talking to mom, rather than looking at 'alternatives' which may be costly and ineffective.
'What will be, will be'--make the most of your time with mom
Brenda