Jeff,
I second what others have said here. When I finished treatment I was horribly depressed. I remember telling my wife that after so much time being anxious to finish treatment, I had this weird feeling like I wanted to be back in it again. I guess for me it was a feeling of loneliness. You have all these people on your care team who you see daily or weekly, and then all of the sudden it's like you're out on your own. They've 'moved on' to other patients and you're supposed to just jump back into regular life. It's tough because if you're like most of us, by that point life feels anything but normal or regular. It can be a very lonely feeling.

I made the mistake of withdrawing from my friends, and even my family somewhat, during treatment. When treatment was over I continued that withdrawal. My best friends were trying to contact me, and I just kept telling them I couldn't see them yet. Radiation had left me (temporarily) unable to speak clearly, which didn't help. It wasn't until I got out of the house, got back into my job, and spent some time with those friends that I started to come out of it. Before long I found myself laughing and remembering how good it was to spend time with friends.

I learned later that my friends were also unsure how to handle everything after my treatment - they didn't know whether to just stay away like I said I wanted, or whether to be more forceful and insist on seeing me. I think many of the people in our lives feel awkward too about how to handle 'us' after treatment (even family members).

Life may not feel normal right away, but the more you let yourself get back into life the sooner you'll start to feel better. It DOES get better, absolutely!! I'm about to start another round of treatment, and I've already vowed to myself not to withdraw like I did the last time.


-Steve J.