Keep going, Tony - you've made some good decisions and it sounds like you have a good team of doctors helping you. Just the progress you've made on the financial stuff - which is one of the most difficult to accomplish - is great! This cancer fight is bound to make anyone feel down, and you should probably let your doctors know about this so they can prescribe something if they feel it is necessary. Some of the medications for depression take a while to kick in and have an effect so it's better to be prepared and on top of the situation. Tony - the "illusion of control" is good! Faking it until the real feeling comes back is OK. Visualizing a good outcome is a plus. Even the smallest amount of control is progress and cause for celebration and you probably have more control than you think. There is a line from the book "Tuesdays at Maury's" where the elderly, very ill professor is asked by his former student how he is doing, and he replies "I can still wipe my own butt". I have that line, in very small print, posted above the toilet paper in my bathroom, to remind me every day that I am still in control of a lot of things.