I totally understand what you are saying. But it has killed my marriage, part of me, and part of Dan as well. Cancer can be a killer in more ways than taking life and breath away.

Cancer changes everything......and whether a person wants to admit it or not, a person's life (although it may be spared to the disease) is never the same. I have suffered a huge loss to cancer and I am grieving bigtime, and trust me dear fellow, this IS VERY REAL.....we are both suffering, and my marriage is dead. Dan's and my life have changed forever....our marriage died.

Should Dan's cancer return, I can not be there, where I should be, to care for him, hold him and allow him to as he so often put it.....to "die in my arms." So have an issue if you like, but YOU may not know my grief as you have not experienced it from my standpoint. So my "member" may not have been lost to the disease, so far, but part of both Dan and I have lost so much due to this horrible illness.

I'm extremely disappointed that some of the people here are too self-absorbed to understand, or try to understand, someone's grief other than their own.