Hi Susie,
You didn't sound selfish, you were just asking a question. I hope our answers show you that your feelings are right on track.
It's an odd position to be in when we are trying to figure out what is normal in the after cancer life.......is anything normal?

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.