I know that sounds werid but I just don't know. I was sitting in Mass with my mum this morning and I just couldn't stop crying. Today the St.Is St. Rita. The patron of impossible causes. That did it.
do I pray that he gets this over fast. What do I mean by over. The surgery which fills me with horror or the cancer which his only other option is death. He is already in pain.
What quality of life will he have with no speech no hearing on the left side, no jaw bone, eating through a stomach tube? He doesn't like going out to do things in public now. After all of this?
I am so scared. My doctor is saying remain calm or you will come out of remission. I have CFS/ME.
How do you stay sane? I already live one day at a time. If they incease my med's I will be a zomby and of no help to him.
The circle never stops turning in my thoughts. My dreams are full of the pictures of the soldiers I nursed in Veitnam that had lost half thier faces to morter attacks. In living color no less.
Sorry just had to vent.
Mar