Hi all,
I haven't posted in a while because I have been so busy taking care of my husband but after yesterday's issues I felt like today I had to get onto the site. My husband is currently healing from his partial glossectomy and neck dissection where they removed 64 of his lymph nodes. We got the word 2 weeks ago that his tongue pathology came back as a stage I cancer but that 2 of the lymph nodes where malignant and therefore he would have to undergo further treatment. So we met with the tumor board on Monday to discuss treatment and based on their findings decided he needs to have the full blast of both radiation and chemo. Apparently one of the affected lymph nodes was unusual looking in that the cancer had blasted straight through the sheathing that covers the node. So they don't want to take any chances that there could be anything left. They also said because he is so young (only 29) that they would like to try to erradicate it now since he has so many fruitful years left of his life. I guess that makes sense. They are posing to do 6 1/2 weeks of radiation treatments with 3 chemo treatments intermixed. The chemo, they said, is being used to intensify the affects of the radiation. They said the type they are giving him shouldn't have any of the usual symptoms related to chemotherapy such as the extreme nausea and hair falling out. We will just have to wait to see. He did so well with his surgery (eating all solid foods in less than 2 weeks) that they think he will do real well with the rest of the treatment.

So far through all of this I have held myself together fairly well and have remained strong for him. I think Monday though, was the final straw that made me break down. I came into work on Tuesday and just couldn't hold myself together. I ended up leaving and had to seek medical help to get myself calmed down. They gave my a mild tranquilizer which seemed to work. I just felt so bad about losing it in front of my husband. He assured me that he totally understood and that I just hadn't let out enough emotions during all of this. I guess I just felt like if I were to get upset that I would make his fears so much greater. He told me though that he was glad I was able to share my fears with him and that we are able to talk openly about everything we are going through. I just want to be able to be there for him as much as possible. The next 2 months are going to be tough but I know we'll get through this. I think I just need to vent on the forum more often so that I don't let things get too pent up inside! Thanks everyone for listening.

Michelle