Carol, I look at things differently. My life has returned completely to normal, nothing new about it. I enjoy doing everything I did before I was diagnosed. I have had some rather extensive dental work, but I have had dental work all my life, so that was not a surprise. I am enough of an optimist that I consider myself cured. A recent head to toe check found nothing wrong, so I plan to live to be a very old lady. I had surgery for a stage IV tumor, followed by rad and chemo, so I have a couple of scars, but they most certainly do not slow me down. I look back on my time in treatment as a detour, as an education certainly, and as the opportunity to meet new people, many of whom are still friends. I was not a patient patient, and shed that label as soon as I could. Neither am I a victim. I am just me, living my regular, ordinary life. I have had chickenpox, measles, cancer, mumps, and flu. Were it not for my participation in this forum, and my visits to the ENT, I probably would not think about the cancer at all. It is very possible to get one's life back, and I am proof.

Please consider this: We can spend time worrying about a recurrence, which may never come, in which case we have wasted time and emotion on nothing. Alternatly, we can have the best time we can, and if a recurrence happens, we will at least have lived our lives fully to that point.

If I have learned anything, it is that it is pointless to waste time thinking, much less worrying about, things over which I have no control.

There is a lot to be said for the idea of self-fulfilling prophecy -- if one believes things will get better, they just might. While we cannot change some circumstances, we can most certainly change our perception of them. Mind games? Perhaps. But happy trumps worry every time.

Hang in there. It WILL get easier.