Wendy, consider that Bill's mind is swimming with all of this. (and the stroke may have affected his processing information) Don't feel like you are having to make decisions for him but he is reaching out for something solid to hold on to. You can be a part of that.

Really there aren't so many things to decide anyway.
To treat: yes.
To treat at the best possible facility: Yes absolutely!
To use radiation: Yes.
To use chemo: Probably (better results, worse side effects.)
Surgery: No unless strongly recommended by his medical Team (not just ENT)
Amifostine: Maybe but many people have problems with it.
Pain Meds: Yes but watch carefully for mental changes.
PEG tube: Yes if he can't afford loosing weight.
Tooth extractions: NO! unless they are in poor shape. Have him get to a dentist familiar with radiation and prefers keeping healthy teeth to help with this decision.
Counciling for all of you: Would not hurt.
Talk to Hospice: Yes! they can help with plenty besides end of life.
Accept this as a Life Event: Absolutely, you will find this to be a fabulous opportunity to grow if you are open to it.
Have Hope: YES!

He can do it and you can too.