Dee,

I wish I had some answers for you. I don't. If I were in your position I think I would be doing exactly what you are doing. I have been following Packers prognosis from your posts and my heart goes out to you. I was very lucky that Eric had lots of people living around here that were willing and able to help. That is a luxury that not everyone has.

Sometimes for me while waiting in the hospital during a fluid IV replenishment or during an appointment, taking care of myself meant finding these pink cookies that the hospital sold in various places. The cookies usually were sold out so I had to check three different locations. I would worry that I wasn't with Eric, but then I would remember that I was in the hospital and they could watch him for a while.

Mark advised me that if I didn't take care of myself I couldn't be as effective helping Eric. I guess that means different things for different people, but for me sometimes it was a simple as being willing to abandon Eric in the hospital for fifteen minutes while I sought out my cookie. I also tried to get sleep, eat in the morning instead of just slamming down coffee and flying out the door and I wished I had exercised. While Eric has lost about 40 lbs I have gained 10!

I also found that writing here was helping me take care of myself as I found good advice and I believe everyone here has the same basic motive; to help the cancer patient become cancer free. While people have different opinions as to how to best achieve that goal, that is my impression of why we are here.

You and Packer are in my thoughts and I have nothing but the highest esteem for the role you are playing in his treatment. I am glad you mentioned a therapist/counselor, to me taking an hour a week to see someone is another way of taking care of yourself. Counseling has been beneficial to me, it is like having a coach or one more person in my corner, particularly someone objective who is trying to help me make the best decisions I can.

Thank you for posting and for sharing your challenge. Hopefully some others can give you more suggestions.

Jack