DEar Laura, you may not want to hear this, but NOW is the time to think practical and be proactive. Your Dad is going to struggle for awhile yet- so you need to be sharp and observe the things that are giving him the most trouble and start thinking solutions.Get his anticipated release date from the hospital and start asking very pointed questions about what he will need at home in terms ofcare and medical equipment. The swelling will be with him for awhile- the trach is contingent on the swelling and whether he can breathe o.k. on his own. A board to write on is really helpful [but if he is on strong pain meds., he still may not be able to communicate well. In our esperience, our grandkids [age 14 and age 2 yrs.] were able to absorb and accept John's physical appearence easier than we did- we had tried to prepare them for a "different John" before they saw him and they handled it well. Please tell your hubby that he needs to be readiang here also so that he can truly be a part of this experience you and your Dad are going through. It's like " DUH-Read the directions first" People who have not been through this have no clue of the physical and emotional toll this cancer can create. And being a caregiver to a cherished person in your life can really be an emotional rollercoaster. Laura, please stay strong and enlist your husband as a member of the team. Amy in the Ozarks