Petey B- I was totally in your shoes right now back in Febuary. It is so hard when the tumor is that big and you just feel like total crap. I am so sorry. I feel ya. A lot of the pain you are feeling is because the tumor is causing ulceration and swelling in your tongue and also it is pressing on nerves that are connected to other areas of your face and head and neck and your glands are freaking out because they want this evil cancer out of your body. It hasn't neccesarily spread there. My gland on my right side was swollen too and on the MRI the rad oncologist thought it was bad news but it turns out after they took them all out during surgery they were all clear-- they took out 48 nodes out of my neck....So yes I felt the exact same way-- just miserable and I still had to finish up work too. Just try and stay as nourished as you can and definitely get some decent pain meds from the Docs you see. Any of them can prescribe them for you as you get different appts. Just let them know you are in extreme pain. I went on the fetynyl patch because I had to wait 3 weeks to get surgery and I still had to pull myself together at work when all I wanted to do was curl up in a corner. I know - you just want to some relief right away.

Hang in there There may be things they can do for you to make the surgery less drastic. Ask about them inserting the radiactive threads into your tumor first to shrink it before surgery or chemo and radiation to shrink it down. Maybe it is an option maybe not. They were considering doing it with me but decided that the way the tumor was growing (from my sublingual gland across to the back of my tongue) they didn't think it would benefit my particular case because so much damage had been done.

So I now this is all just crazy to go through- the not knowing the wainting for appointments ect. impending surgery treatment. The thing is that you owe it to yourself to just give it a shot. Its a tough and rough experience but any pain you feel in treatment is going to feel better than just succombing to the disease. Life will be different but you will still be able to get pleasure and enjoyment and fufillment. Maybe eaing will be different but if you want to eat somehting you'll figure out a way to do it

You will still be here for your wife and kids and they want you here. I just know that they do. You mean the world to them.


CAncer totally sucks but you will see the people closest to you TRANSFORM. It is amazing. You say your wife isn't a caretaker. Whatever. She lvoes you and will do anything to keep you here on this earth.... you just wait and see how many people come to support you-- you will feel very loved.

I kind of thought the same thing about my hubby- that he wouldn't be up for taking care of me... He likes his free time ect-- but when it came down to it he absolutely rose to the challenge. We had a very carefree newly married life until this struck us. We weren't too serious about anything-- I defintiely took care of him more than he took care of me but once we had to face the possibility of death together our relationship transended to the next level and it had been amazing

If there is one gift a life threatening disesase will give you its clarity on who and what is important.

Don't give in- I know it is hard when it seems so overwhelming and that the treatments are goig to be intense but you can do it. Mind over body.

Just like karate and the boxing ring-- get in and fight. You could have another 30 years of life and good times. It would be worth it. So worth it. I promise you.