Petey.....you hang in there, buddy. It's gonna be better when you have a plan and a team to look after you so that you don't feel so alone and so rudderless.

I know that many folks on this forum will have better suggestions for your mouth pain, but one thing to try that is easy and available is to swish equal parts of an antacid, like Maalox or something similar, with liquid Benadryl. The Maalox soothes mouth sores, and the Benadryl numbs them. It also numbs everything else too, so that you can't taste for a while, but it does help you to feel more comfortable for a while. Give it a try.

And I want you to keep writing your feelings. You are close to finding the solution......and it is NOT in a bottle or a smoke, and I am proud of you! You are in a bad place in your life, but look at you!!! You are triumphing in soso many ways that you are a beacon for the rest of us. Please let us support you, and walk with you on your journey. Don't you dare give up!! There are too many people who care about you, both in your home, and around this country.