There were tears this morning i am afraind ,and they weren't Robins.Is it unusual for a carer to feel totally useless and not valued at all?We have reached a stone wall where Rob is saying "its my cancer and i will do it my way"He wont even look at the products i have got ,he considers fighting it to mean "the doctors told me this would happen so why are you stressing about it"he justs believes he has to suck for it.He didnt tell the radiographer his lips and mouth are burnt ,and when i asked why, he said "they told us this would happen"I spent the whole day yesterday making stew and casserole, and fresh soup to put in his flask for work,and this morning he went to work with a packet of cup o'soup which is just processed crap.
The thing is he knows he is hurting me by rejecting all my attempts to help,and undermining my contribution,but he keeps doing it.Then all of a sudden he will try one of the things i have bought to help and come into the room and say" that new mouthwash is good love".I dont know wether to back off and let him get ill and then pick up the pieces or just live in a war zone.My gut tells me to speak to Dr Whitikar when we see him today and tell him that he is not eating and that his mouth is burnt .Its a trying time ,but he did manage a little dinner last night.