Yes -in the beginning the tests and the wait are scary as hell. I can only tell you that this WILL get better over time. I went through an entire jar of Zanax myself. My wife forwent the drugs but had a nervous breakdown late in my post Tx phase. Plus there's an emotional letdown at the end of treatment that you're not doing anything more to fight it. This is also the time that depression commonly sets in. There is nothing clean cut about this disease, but if you understand the dynamics of what is happening, you can make it more bearable. The feelings you are having is pretty much what all of us had to go through.