Nicki,
It sounds to me like you need a vacation from both work and caregiving. Do you enjoy your job - I mean when you are not worn out, as you are now? If you do, if you have been finding fullfilment there, I think Ed's advice is great. If your job is adding to your stress and you can take a leave of absence, I would take one, at least for a couple of weeks. Then don't spend all of your time around Tom, go to the library or the gym and work on your own wellbeing.

My husband was unemployed during the worst of my treatment and post-treatment, and I was glad to have him around more than usual, but I was also glad to have him out of the house for a while, so i could wander around and feel as miserable as I wanted without anybody to bother me - OK, it doesn't sound very nice, but it's true.

What I am saying, do what is best for you, Tom does not need you 24 hours a day, but he will continue to be dependent on you for a long while, and that tires you out.

I am praying for you both. Leena