"Honestly, I'm not sure that a long life without those abilities would be as rewarding as a shorter life with them."

There's a big error in this reasoning--which is that if this cancer takes your life your "shorter" life until you died wouldn't be affected by loss of speech and swallowing. That's exactly what the cancer itself can do to you, as well as other nasty stuff, before it eventually kills you.

Believe me, I understand from personal experience,that death from oral cancer versus surviving perhaps with a disability feels like an "unacceptable" choice. But it's what you're facing. Thos of us who have been on this board for any time know people who have died or are dying of this. I think we'd mostly agree it is not a better alternative than surviving with a disability by any stretch of the imagination.

Nelie