Without knowing every detail of your situation it is not prudent for any of us to suggest which option is appropriate for you.

Having said that, #3 and #4 shouldn't even be on your list. You have a level of disease that responds well to conventional treatments, so clinical trials are not for you when you have good odds taking the path that so many have taken before you. Doing nothing means you wil not survive this, and death by oral cancer is not an attractive means of leaving this world, even if that is your desire by choosing to just let things run their course.

I had a more advanced disease than you, and my MDACC docs (Houston) opted to hit it with radiation first to do as much as possible. When that was completed after 7 weeks, the intra-oral disease had been completly eliminated and I only had some small remaining neck node involvement that fell into the hands of the surgeon. I like this approach as it has fewer QOL issues in many locations, such as base of tongue cancers. Don't waste a lot of time getting to a decision via that second opinion. This can move very quickly in some cases and you want to deal with this as early as humanly possible.