Sharlee,
Men, in general, stuff their feelings. It is part of our childhhod conditioning (right or wrong).

Maybe he needs to detach emotionally so that he doesn't add more to your fears.

He might also struggle with his own sense of immortality (especially since this is so close to home). I had close friends who had to distance themselves while I was going through treatment.

Oftentime caregivers come here and NOT the patients because they simply don't WANT to know - that can work the other way as well.

My wife had a nervous breakdown after I had completed treatment. She never once went on the internet or did research - I was my own advocate and did all of that stuff - hell, I STILL do all of that stuff but mainly for others now. But without her support and tolerance of my anger, I wouldn't have lived through it. She was a great note taker though and drove me to 95% of all of my appointments (subsequently sacrificng her busines with a personal bankruptcy).

As we all respond to treatment differently we also respond to trauma and crisis differently as well. Don't make assumptions that he is not emotionally involved. It just may not be manifesting itself to your expectations (you have to do a "reality check" on that).

Use "I" statements and not "you", "would", "should" or "could" if you discuss it.