Thank you all for your thoughts-some good and much needed advice. I wish there was a manual! On a good note, Lee has posted for the 1st time and I'm hoping he'll continue. He had non-hodgkin's lymphoma 10 years ago and was so different-it never got him done and he never believed he would be anything but cured. This is a whole different animal.
Tonya, thank you for taking the time and strength to respond. Your brother sounds like a wonderful person and I'm sure he was proud to have you for his sister.
Thanks everyone
Doreen

Stage IV scc base of tongue/larynx
Total glossectomy/partial laryngectomy/radical neck dissection 4/05 followed by chemo and rad. Tonsillar Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma 1996(cured and not related)