The fact that you are already there means to me that you already are the best type of friend. I believe you should ask this person what they need and discuss how to fill that need. This time in the treatment is tough physically and mentally. It could be that humor is all that helps. It could be that your friend is struggling with the much deeper meaning of life. Only they can tell you.

One thing for certain (in my mind) is that they appreciate you for being there in any way.

Take care

Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.