Sharon:
Chemo is standard as an adjunct therapy to radiation or as primary treatment (with or without surgery too) for some types of mets. The information you were given isn't accurate. If you don't get anywhere with your current facility, would it be feasible to travel here for a consult? Mass General, Dana Faber, and Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary in Boston all have renowned head and neck centers.
Keep us posted,
Kim