Vickie-
I feel like I am reading my life story when you write. Don, my husband, was on the feeding tube for 6 months and at one point they told him they thought he had nerve damage in his throat (preventing him from being able to swallow) and may have to have it for life. I think we've talked about this in private emails. My husband and I were both in a state of shock coming home from that doctor's appointment (my husband is only 46). I'm not sure what happened but the next few days seemed to take on a whole new attitude and he just kept trying over and over to eat...he got "mad" and "determined"...the next thing he knew he was able to swallow and can now eat things as long as they have lots of sauce. Don also had the problem where everything hurt in his mouth...even water. He has the herpes virus in his system (before cancer it was just feverblisters) and it attacked the inside of his mouth since that area is so vulnerable now. Fortunately the doctors figured it out and he takes medication daily that prevent any sores from appearing on his tongue. Don also has 50% hearing loss from radiation damage to the nerves in his ear (side the tumor was on) and has eustachian tube damage. This causes pain at times, used to be severe. Now it mostly just causes constant ringing...from the nerve damage...and popping/crackling noises...from the eustuchian tube damage. Believe it or not there have been some studies that show anti-anxiety medications can help reduce the ringing in the ears. Because all these complications can also cause so much stress and depression, my husband agreed to try the medication. His primary care doctor put him on 2 medications and though he's only been on them for one week it does seem that the ringing is reduced. I'm not sure if it is just that he is relaxed and not concentrating on it so much or if the meds actually reduced the ringing...either way it doesn't matter, if the ringing is lessened that is the important thing. From what I hear it is common for cancer patients to get depressed, who wouldn't be after all that is going on in their bodies, and doctors do not mind giving them meds that can help improve their outlook on life...this helps everything from healing to just the will to live and get out there and participate in life. We have discovered this has truly been the case for my husband. Today, 1 year from his tonsilectomy that discovered the cancer, he completed his first day back at work. It is amazing how much better he looked when he walked through the door after working all day...it is good for him to feel like he is finally being a productive human being and contributing to society and our household.

Sorry for rambling so much...you are both in my prayers. Don't forget that taking care of "you" is an important part of your father's recovery too.

Lorie