Hi Stephanie,
My name is Minnie and I also am recovering from cancer of the jaw, stage 4. I had surgery nine months ago to remove most of my lower, left jaw and it was replaced with a bone from my leg. So far so good and my jaw looks awesome. There is still some swelling and puffiness, but the shape of my face is almost exactly how it was. I had radiation also and my check ups show me to be cancer free 6 months after radiation.
When I read your post, my first thought was to wonder if your moms cancer came back or if it was always still there after the surgery as she didn't have radiation. Brian has stated on here many times that alot of times its not a recurrence of the cancer, but the same cancer that didn't get radiation after surgery. In a way I kind of hope that is the case with your mom and that after she has this surgery and radiation that she will be fine.
I have three adult daughters that worry like you do, reading your posts made me feel so sad that they have to go through all these feelings. This whole experience has brought us very close, and we were close to begin with. Cancer adds a depth to a relationship that usually doesn't happen in the "normal" course of life. Tell your mother every day that you love her and just set your mind to the fact that she will come through this and be here for many more years to come. My 23 year old and I were talking about my surgery the other day and she made the comment that through all of this she has never been worried about me dying, that she has always known in her heart that I would be ok. I believe her.
Take care,
Minnie