Dear Susan,

I know it is very difficult for caregivers and loved ones to constantly be cheerleaders. But unfortunately, that is the best thing you can do for your mom. Please keep letting someone know when you are feeling the weight of being the cheerleader because I have and am still playing the same role. It can take a big toll on you also so please 'dump' on us when necessary so you can continue to help your mother.

As far as help for her, the first step has been taken with the anti-depressants. And as Brooke said, it will take 7-10 days for the effects to kick in. As far as other things to do - do you think your mother would be responsive to hearing about others who have been through the same thing but are now at the point where they can reassure her that it does get better? I know when my husband was receiving concurrent radiation and chemo, he said he wanted to die. Now this was a 6 ft, 220 pound 'macho' guy who had already been through brain surgery. But what seemed to work was telling him about similiar patients and that they could relate to what he was going through but let him know that it WOULD get better. And sure enough, he started feeling human again and thanked me and others who kept reminding him.

So go have a good cry or scream in the shower, get rid of your frustration and sorrow for your mom, put the pom-poms in your hands and do a cheer. And please pat yourself on the back for doing your best to help your mother!

Cynthia