i have a question...my boyfriend has cancer on his tognue and some nodes in the neck seem to be affected and the dr wants to do a very extensive surgery.. what i want to know is if he doesnt go for the surgery and treatments how bad is he gonna be affected and sick from this?? he says hes 71 years old and and would rather have quality of life and be able to do things to the end not be an invalid..hes in a lot of pain on the left side of his face.. it is affecting the ear, neck, tongue, and pretty much everything on the left side of his head..he reads alot on this site and i wonder just what goes thru his mind when he reads this stuff... i know me, it scares the heck out of me some of the stuff i read..but i guess we both gotta face it...i just dont know what i can do for him.. and then when i leave the house i worry about him and feel guilty for not being at home for him...what am i supposed to do??