Barb,

There is SO much I have yet to learn about oral cancer. But, there are two things that seem to be pretty consistent...

1) Radiation kills this cancer, chemo helps the radiation be more effective...but, as of now, chemo alone can't cut it.

2) Make sure you are at a comprehensive cancer center where you have an RO, MO and Surgical ENT all working together with you and your partner to determine the course of treatment.

We almost made the mistake of listening to our ENT...his advice was to cut first and then we would have had to find someplace else to go for radiation and chemo.

Fortunately, our family doctor helped us find a place where there was a team of oral cancer specialists...who were able to quickly get the ball rolling. In my husband's case, they spared him the surgery because his source cancer was very contained.

But, like you, I'd have done or flown just about anywhere to spare him the radiation...but, that seems to be a necessary evil, especially when it is in the lymph system.

I'm sure you are doing great as his partner and support system. Brenda sure had some great insights.

The only part that I do not like is how hard I have to push my husband to eat or drink...when he'd much rather be sleeping. My husband wasn't in pain prior to the treatments, although he started feeling a great deal of pain mid-way through.

He just started the Fentynl patch and that has been a huge help. Are they giving your partner some good pain meds while he is figuring out his course of action?

Brenda, wow, you are an amazing woman. And, your husband and family sound pretty wonderful too. As a caregiver it was very helpful to read your reply to Barb.

Best to all of you,