You're absolutely right Petey. Thanks for the honesty. I'm just scared right now. My fear is not of the physical pain and misery that probably lies ahead. My main fear is about what my small children will have to endure. I've spent the last ten years of my life trying to kill myself with chemicals with no regard to myself or anyone around me. Now I've come to a point in my life where I absolutely am in love with two little children. It is just hard to accept the fact that they may suffer because of my actions. Either way that biopsy is coming next week. I'm just fishin for something to make me feel better. My prayers go out to you Petey, as well as any of the other souls suffering on this board.