I am so sorry to continually nag this forum, especially considering that I haven't been diagnosed with anything bad yet (and I'm hoping I won't be), but I tend to be perfectly fine and happy after every doctor appointment because they say what I have isn't cancer, and then after a few days I fall back into depression. This is no way to live at any age, particularly 19, and I don't know how much more of it I can take (September 16 was my three-month mark from first finding a lump). I go for my CT scan this afternoon and then meet with the oncologist again on Monday, so hopefully I'll know what it is then, although a part of me doesn't really want to know what it is if it is cancer. I probably shouldn't have gone online and researched things in the first place, because then I find out that oral cancer is typically very aggressive in younger people (although I've been assured many times it isn't that, it's not like they've actually done any tests or biopsies yet). And I'm still afraid that the doctors aren't really taking me seriously because apparently cancer in the 15-19 year old age group is quite rare (I actually would have developed the first lump when I was 18, because I found it less than a month after my birthday) and is often lymphoma if it is. If an oncologist, who sees these things everyday, even in my age group, thinks it is nothing to be concerned about, should I still worry so obsessively? He sounded very sure that the lumps in my neck are not lymph nodes, although he did call them "unusual". And I'm not so sure of the cyst story because the one lump flattens out on the end over my windpipe (unless cysts are supposed to do that). I'm just really in a bad place right now. My mom keeps telling me that I'm fine and my doctors apparently don't think that my lumps are cancer. But then I come on here and update on my good news and I get replies that I still need to be persistent and this still COULD be cancer. So I don't know what to think anymore. If this was cancer, and had worked its way from one side of my neck to the other, wouldn't I be feeling something painful by now? Wouldn't my blood tests show up something even remotely unusual? Oh, and this one last question is the one that I can't find anywhere and would really like answered. How does cancer grow? I figured that if what is on the right side of my neck is a lymph node that is swollen because of cancer, wouldn't it continually get bigger first without seeming to grow out from the main little bean-shaped ball that a lymph node is? And the lump on the left side of my neck literally popped up in less than a day and hasn't gotten remarkably bigger since then, so isn't that a good sign? I'm just so worried because I can't find anything else good this could be. My blood tests are now completely normal, so it's not an infection. The oncologist said they're not lymph nodes, either, so that really does rule out infection. I didn't think that cysts could grow the way whatever is in my neck is. I just don't know. Anyway, again, I am so sorry to continually do this but I don't know who else to tell my concerns now because my mom says I shouldn't worry or contemplate anything until a doctor has officially diagnosed whatever this is with 100% certainty. Can benign tumors grow weirdly like mine seem to have? Eck, I'm sorry, I'll stop wasting valuable time now.