Hi Maureen, I remember talking with you at the other board. I am trying to let it go, but when the symptoms come it just brings it all back again. The worst right now is the obvious red patch, which despite every attempt I cant stop the urge to keep looking at, and the ringing in my right ear that has become almost unbearable, it literally sounds like the sound those really cheap televisions make and it is almost constant now and only in my right ear.

Ive set it one more appointment with my ENT, hopefully ill get the area Biopsied and if that comes back negative, then theres quite simply nothing else left for me to do, Ill just have to live with it. Unfortunately the "soonest" they said they could get me in is the 29th of AUGUST!! So I guess I just get to go through my personal hell until then

The sad thing is this is destroying my life. Yes I should be thankful nothing has been found, of course. But at the same time I feel like im standing in front of a big brick wall. All I can do is stand there, wondering whats going on inside me, if anything at all. I cant move forward and accept a diagnosis, learn to come to terms with the inevitable, OR celebrate victory over it. I just stay stuck in the same place and it continues to eat at me. Either Im going to end up going insane or Im going to do something not entirely reasonable... but something has to give.