Dear S.Paul,

I'm so sorry that you and your husband are having to go through this. It is never easy. My husband had a stage 1 SCC in his mouth in Oct. 2002 (had it removed, then radiation to area), then Oct 2003 it was back under his jaw bone near his right ear. It grew to the size of an orange in a matter of months in spite of previous radiation to the area and then chemo to shrink it (it didn't). He also had cancer in his hard palate and tonsil. The "big" surgery took place in Jan 2004, and he was on the table 14 hours. Much of that was for trying to navigate nerves, etc., and putting him back together. They had to cut his facial nerve on the right side because the cancer had infiltrated the area so badly. He was left paralyzed on that side of his face, and he couldn't blink his eye (later he had to have a gold weight put in the eyelid to help it blink). He looked like a stroke victim. To make matters worse, he gradually lost most of the strength and use of his right hand/arm/shoulder. Docs said it could have been from being in surgery so long--that pressure from being in one position on the op table caused damage to his radial nerve. We think, though, that it was from the cancer and trauma of surgery in general--his hand looked atropied within days of surgery. He was right-handed, a writer and pianist, a professor and lecturer. All of that was taken away from him.

ARGH. Sorry to give you such horrible things to think about. As some have pointed out here, each case is different. As you have read above, there are some very good outcomes. I feel obligated to share with you the flip side.

You cannot truly predict the outcome of any surgery. We knew there was a chance of facial paralysis, but we had no idea that it would be as debilitating as having had a stroke. Then, by end of Feb 2004, my husband's cancer was back in a big way--metastatic to the skin of his face and neck. He died May 1.

Why am I telling you the hard facts of my husband's case? Well, because we were "protected" from much info by our doctors, therefore we had to find out a lot the hard way. We needed to be better prepared for the worst; we weren't except for research I did on my own and things the fine folks here told me.

So, if docs are telling you what "might" happen, point blank ask them questions and make them spell it out for you. They are not just always being cautious with the "what-ifs." Many times they know.

Ask. Do your own research. Live each moment to the fullest. Pray for the best. Let your love get you through, whatever happens.

Christine